From pitching tents to ritualistic sacrifices, Post 84 has recently been unveiled as a nonprofit organization harboring cultish activity. Two rehabilitated members came out with information that defames...
Tuesday afternoon on April 2nd, over 150 migrants moved into the Garfield Community Tennis courts after payment for their hotels expired, with local religious institutions and shelters in the Puget Sound...
Garfield has faced its fair share of turmoil over the years: mysterious bomb threats, roof rescues from the fire department, and all the teachers who bike wearing spandex. However, the student body collectively...
Folks, the time has come yet again, when we send seven of our own out into the great unknown. Yes, it's that time of year again when seven of our bravest lady dawgs must walk out into the darkness,...
With the spring sports season reaching its climax, Garfield's long-awaited Quidditch team is soaring high after lacking funds during the pandemic. The team is ready for the upcoming season and isn’t...
Dear Maya Normousbutt,
I’m a sophomore registering for classes and
I don't particularly like school. I need a
class schedule with a preschool, crayon
drawing and naptime vibe. I'm...
The overhead announcements have garnered tremendous support and admiration from the student body. Due to the uptick in approval and praise, The Messenger received an anonymous tip that featured the script...
Parkanoia
Out of all the clubs at Garfield, Mock Trial is one of the most heavily advertised. Posters litter the halls with claims that range from “it’ll give you life skills” to “we have...
Aries:
Uh oh, did you have another tantrum and slap the bosom off the youth pastor again?! Silly you, though it’s to be expected with your cray cray temper. You should never be held accountable for...
Sports bedding is such a diverse market it can often be impossible to know where to start. As an avid sports bedder, I’ve compiled a guide that will show you the best websites and stores to satisfy your...
Garfield students have reported 34 unusual items found in their school-provided breakfast and lunches in the last week. The Garfield community is concerned about this developing situation and The Messenger...
