Quick Facts:
Budget: $340 million
Run Time: 6 hours 50 minutes (A Garfield school day)
Release Date: Summer 2024
Premiering at Purple and White spodie
Somehow already has 99% on Rotten Tomatoes
Christopher Nolan:
What inspired you to make a movie about Garfield High School?
“When I saw Garfield, I realized that all the guys in my old movies went there for high school. Like the main dude from Oppenheimer, he totally had Mr. Gish and Ms. Solbakken and went to Ezell’s. The idea for the atomic bomb came to him when he was vaping in the bathroom. That’s when it really hit me, I thought, ‘hey, this school could totally be its own movie.’ The urban high school environment reflects the moral quandaries that propel us into this age of infinite technological expansion.” [You can tell he thinks that sounds really smart.]
So what is the movie actually about?
“I think I shredded the screenplay or something, so I kinda don’t remember. But, I know it’s a psychological thriller about this absolutely shredded and 100% natty shirtless-quantum-biology teacher, Mr. Johnson. His job is to flip the tri-molecular quantum polarities and reverse the high school process, turning adults back into middle schoolers. It’s totally like this metaphor about modern 21st-century capitalism and how we’re a temporal blip in the infinite darkness of the cosmos. The freshmen are all played by tiny little child actors.”
How much work is it gonna take to turn the Garfield campus into a movie set?
“There are some things that need to change about this high school before we can shoot a movie in it. For starters, the set designers are gonna restock the empty vending machines. Then they’ll replace all the staircases with escalators and put in moving walkways in all the hallways. You know, like the ones at the airport? That way no one will be late to class.
They’re also planning to add a few more floors to the main building. Oh, and two or three more Quincy Jones buildings, because the one you have now just isn’t enough.
Also, we’re gonna put in some more gender-neutral bathrooms and fix all the broken paper towel dispensers.”
How is this different from your previous projects?
“Well, this one is coming out after all the other movies I made, so that’s different. Because I made all the other ones first.
This is also the first time I’ve made a movie with more than two girls in it. Normally I don’t put too many women in, they’re hard to write about. Their hair is too long, it gets in the way of stuff.”
Dwayne the Rock Johnson:
What made you want to act in this movie?
“I need the money. The bills have been getting tight recently and Moana just isn’t cutting it [nervous laugh]. The mortgages on my 10 houses are eating away at my bank account, I need this movie.”
What have you been doing to prepare for the role of Mr. Johnson?
“I’ve been upping my time in the gym, the studio has assigned me a team of physicians, personal trainers, and dietitians to help me quickly attain Mr. Johnson’s physique. Additionally, I’ve been blasting non-FDA approved anabolic steroids without consulting a medical professional to give me a little boost in muscle growth.”
What are unique things that your character does?
“Uhhhhh, ummmmm, yeah. That’s a great question. So, in my mind…Mr. Johnson is like a hero in this movie, I think? I heard he goes to the club every Friday night, right? He’s a cool guy and I’d definitely want to hang out with him outside the studio. I think he plays rugby or something. He might teach a chemistry class, oh wait he teaches quantum biology! Yeah, he’s a quantum biology teacher. I think this subject he teaches is super interesting and I feel that Mr. Nolan chose Mr. Johnson as one of the protagonists because of his expertise in the intricate mechanics of the quantum realm.”
How do you feel working with your costars?
“Kevin Hart is a great guy, worked with him on projects like Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle and Jumanji The Next Level, really excited about this project. I heard he’s playing the executive janitor, Dr. Hart, always happy to work with Kevin. Really excited to work with Timothee Chalamet. I didn’t really like Dune 1 or Dune 2, pretty bad movies. I think this movie is Zimothee’s big opportunity to show the world that he is a great actor. Sydney Sweeney is someone I’ve never really worked with. I really liked her more recent projects, Madame Web, one of the best movies I ever seen. I think working with someone like Sydney Sweeney who has been in cinematic masterpieces like Madame Web is truly an honor for me.”
Kevin Hart:
What attracted you to the character of Dr. Hart?
“I just like the sound of that. Dr. Hart. I’m a doctor now.
Also, Pebble said – Oh sorry I mean the Rock said he was gonna be in this project as a teacher, which means I get to boss him around ’cause I’m the principal.”
How has been working with such amazing spectacular actors?
“Yeah I mean they’re great but Chase Bank will always be my favorite co-star. I just love the freedom I have with my Chase card and knowing that Chase has my back. My cashback. Just like how Chase gives you 5% cashback on all purchases.”
Mhm, I was more wondering about your fellow actors.
“Oh. I love working with uh Kylie Jenner’s boyfriend? Charlie was his name? No wait Timothee. Yeah, he’s been really into beanies trying to embody ‘Timothy Z’ whoever that is. It’s also my first time working with Willem Dafoe who’s playing our villain, the AP Physics teacher.”
Any additional comments?
“You know I just saw Dune and they have those uhh sand worms and I was thinking maybe we should have some of those in the Garfield Movie but they’re like the school buses, cause you ride the buses to school but they’re like the sand worms that they ride in Dune two. You guys are recording this right? We gotta tell Mr. Nolan about it.”
Sydney Sweeney:
This role is not what you typically go for, what made you want to play Ms. Manuel?
“I really want an Oscar.”
Sean Kelleher:
(Executive Producer)
Will the movie be R-rated?
“There will no sex in the Garfield movie. I’m putting my foot down.”
Reviews:
Gress: “I loved the movie, great articulation and clear pronunciation from the actors. Yeah… I would’ve loved to be in it but you know I think they made great choices. I would’ve loved to see the theater… the black box… a special part… can we turn the cameras off?”
Dr. A: “I love the accuracy of the Quantum Biology in the movie, this is one of Christopher Nolan’s best works. Every second of the movie I was at the edge of my seat, truly a work of art. I wish I was in it though, you know I’d be an excellent addition to a sequel!”
Mr Pugh: “Incredible cinematography. The depth of field, arc shot, aerial shot, continuity, just phenomenal.”
New York Times: “I cried the whole time.”
Seattle Times: “It just kind of made me hungry for Ezell’s.”
Franklin Quakers: [redacted]
99% on rotten tomatoes
