Here at The Messenger, we bear the great responsibility of ensuring every student gets their dream homecoming date. But we’re not interested in any boring homecoming proposals. The key to success is something eye-catching and original. This perfected and comprehensive guide includes all the essentials to achieving success with your homecoming prospects. 

First off, timing is critical. Locate your target during the 10-minute passing period after fifth when love is pulsating through the air. Be confident, if you really want this date you’ve got to show it. Approach your target with your head held high and give a couple nods to the people you pass in the hall. Maybe flash some quick grins, point and wave, have a little fun and let loose. After all, what do you have to lose? 

Open with the killer line “Nunya.” 

They will then frown, looking confused. 

You quickly respond “Nunya business lookin’ so cute.” 

Boom! You’re in. 

Trust us, you’ve either got to go big or go home, ‘cause a shiny poster? Reliable? sure, but it’s been done. 

Gather some friends and lay them out to spell “HOCO?” This Messenger-proven strategy is irresistible. Plus, this is the most efficient way to ask someone out, it only took us three class periods to rehearse and forty-five minutes to assemble. 

But don’t fret if that’s not your style.

Another reliable option is a scavenger hunt with some witty riddles. Perhaps leave a trail of rose petals around the school to lead your prey to the most secure and romantic room in all of Garfield, one of those wall-less classrooms. Rumor has it they’re soundproof! Next, challenge them to a shadow boxing match. If you win you get the date, so make sure to brush up on those reflexes. 

You could ask them out on the intercom while SpongeBob music is playing, or send in a song request of your own. Point is, there really are endless approaches to scoring that dream date. You’ve got this Bulldogs. And if you get rejected? Never back down, never what? NEVER GIVE UP!