As a 6’3 insanely jacked man who plays competitive paintball, safety is my number one priority. Paintball is life… buuuuut I have to keep myself safe. My enemies love to target my special area, if you know what I mean, and since that’s my money maker I gotta stay protected down there. Thankfully, Skims by Kim has been profusely watching my paintball matches and understands my dilemma (Kim K and I are tight), so they sent me a personal PR package with their latest invention: The Flesh Colored Jockstrap!! Of course, I had to immediately try it on and oh boy this thing is nice. The smooth cotton is breathable, soft, and incredibly lightweight. Not only that, but I feel so protected! No amount of paint will be able to hurt me with this thing on; I’m convinced. I tested that theory by jumping into my next game with the goal of only having people strike my no-no square to make sure I would feel no pain. Unfortunately, it hurt. Despite being beautifully made and insanely comfortable, the list of pros end there. The second that ball of paint shot against my crotch, I was hit with a searing pain. Now my paintball career is over due to the fact that I am unable to walk for the rest of my life. Kim K, how could you? You knew what I needed this jockstrap for and yet you didn’t even care? You have lost a major customer forever, Kim.