Last week, I had the rather unique experience of interviewing Mr. Smith, the incoming history teacher for the 2025-2026 school year. I conducted this interview to help students who might find themselves in his class next year get to know him better.
I started off by asking him what he enjoyed most about teaching history. He responded by saying, “My favorite time period to really dive into is the Roman Empire,” and then, without explanation, he gave me a deliberate wink. I assumed he was trying to show off a sense of humor, perhaps aiming to connect with students.
He continued on stating, “One of my favorite lesson plans is my bit on the Boston Tea party, where I get my students to get into a sharing circle and then prompt them to list the events that lead to the American revolution, but with the dialect of a teenage gossip session spilling all of the tea.” He then winked.
“Although, I am fond of encouraging my students to watch episodes of Drunk History prior to taking LEQ’s–An excellent exhibition of brainstorming methods like blurting!” Then he winks…again?
I went on to ask Mr. Smith what a chill day in class might look like, he responded by saying. “I love Cunk on Earth,” he declared. “It’s one of my favorite historical documentaries.” Mr. Smith made sure to give a wink before continuing. “She once posed this question on whether the Renaissance was more culturally significant than Beyonce’s song Single ladies–since then Beyonce has dropped her Renaissance album, now the dilemma is a no-brainer.” yet another incomprehensible wink.
On how he maintains his classroom, Mr. Smith believes, “It’s always important to keep things professional,” he said, winking. He must have been getting bored of the interview because he proceeded to explain that he would not repeat, “that one time” he vented about his third wife to his class and everyone thought he was creating an elaborate metaphor for what a midlife crisis might ensue, And then once again, and I am unsure why, he winked?!
At this point, I had reached my breaking point and decided to address the elephant in the room–Mr. Smith’s constant winking. Looking quite dejected he explained it was, “all involuntary.” ??
He continued, elaborating that when he was growing up his brother “had found a creative way” of waking him up: a Nerf gun as an alarm clock. One day, he went for a suspiciously accurate and direct shot at my eye. After a trip to the doctor and some temporary blindness, the incident left me unknowingly winking in all circumstances.”
Shaking his head he continued. “At first, it was all fun and games. But that changed quickly when I started getting a steady stream of calls from parents. They were convinced I was teaching inappropriate material in class. I quickly learned I needed to rethink that Trojan horse lesson plan.”
Somehow his explanation left me nearly as confused as before. All I know is it’s safe to say the students enrolled in his upcoming classes should definitely look at the fine print on his syllabus next year.
