After thorough and heavy consultation with the student body, the Washington State Board of Education has announced a new set of graduation requirements exclusively for Garfield High School’s. Dr. Angela Griffin, a board member, explained that the new graduation checklist was to “ensure a visionary and successful life for Bulldogs after graduation.” This step is considered crucial to combatting potential blowback from a Trump-led dismantling of the federal Board of Education. A major shock, however, is the announcement that WSBOE has announced that these new requirements would start with the Class of 2025. In addition to 24 credits and 60 service hours, students are expected to:
Write an essay of 100,000 words, with a quill pen. Essay topics will change yearly but writing and scoring will be both administered and selected by Ms. Harris. This year’s topic is on why The Great Gatsby is an inappropriately tragic theme for prom.
In addition to a hand-written essay and 70 service hours,
Bulldogs are required to sprint a mile within 4 minutes. A major critique for this requirement, however, concerned its equity and accessibility. As a solution, the WSBOE ruled that To address accessibility concerns and level the playing field for Garfield’s more athletic students, students who have participated in more than one year of a running sport will have to complete theirs in 3 minutes. Completion waives ½ a PE credit!
In addition to 80 service hours,
Students are expected to paint an oil portrait of Dr. Hart. Portraits will be critiqued personally by Dr. Hart. and if graded as passing, students will be rewarded with one additional art credit. If a student fails to properly capture the light of our principal, punishment can include immediate expulsion and banishment from the Central District.
In addition to 90 service hours,
Students are expected to stay for 24 hours in either the school’s basement or attic. Students are permitted to leave the basement or attic prematurely, but it will result in automatic failure. Though students are allowed to repeat the challenge after their first try, after a second try students will be locked and held inside the basement or attic by school security. Their only escape will be by calling 911. Claustrophobic bulldogs can stay on top of the roof or in the boy’s locker room during football season instead. Princeton’s Dean of Admissions added that the challenge “has students demonstrate the physical, mental, and spiritual commitment that colleges are looking for.”
In addition to 1000 service hours,
The final graduation requirement will be for students to find the Garfield treasure. Clues will not be provided.
